Three main themes this week: group meeting, the “Before” trilogy, and Zhang Yu.
Group Meeting
Let me go in order. Honestly, the anxiety is still overwhelming. No clear goals for the future, feeling like my skills and abilities aren’t good enough, no real expertise that could sustain a living. You could say I’m still learning, but it’s just way too slow.
Then again, who doesn’t have goals? I want to get good at English, but the time I actually spend on it each day isn’t much. After some quick vocabulary review and maybe a bit of listening practice, that’s it for the day’s English study. Days fly by so fast — I’ve been questioning whether my time management is just completely off. After all, there are only so many hours in a day. If you can’t manage your time well, even working seven days a week won’t produce good results.
This morning’s weekly report wasn’t great either. I don’t seem to have anything of my own to show. Right now I’m stuck in this mode where I can only do well when someone tells me what to do, but the moment I need to figure things out on my own, I’m lost. Maybe the main reason is that I don’t understand the field well enough. So I guess I should read more — I’ll go to the library tomorrow and borrow a copy of Metallographic Crystallography.
The “Before” Trilogy
By “Before” I mean: Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, and Before Midnight. I’ve watched a decent number of movies, though maybe not many romance films. But I’ve always felt these three are the best romance movies I’ve ever seen. And it’s not just me — they rank 107th, 118th, and 215th on Douban’s Top 250 list. What’s even more interesting is that the first film was made in 1995, the second nine years later in 2004, and the third another nine years later in 2013. Worth mentioning: all three movies are essentially just two people — the male and female leads — talking. Most people would probably find that boring. But I genuinely think these are the best romance films I’ve ever watched. They feel so much like real love. Maybe what I mean is they feel like love in real life — like actual life, like how things really are. So following the pattern, the next one should come out around 2022. I wonder if I’ll have a love like that by then?
I want to be in a relationship. Oh well, I guess I’ll just go rewatch the “Before” trilogy.
Zhang Yu
Last night I posted on Weibo saying I was jealous of a friend who got to meet Zhang Yu. I really am jealous. This Zhang Yu isn’t the singer Zhang Yu — though this Zhang Yu can also sing. Haha…
I’m talking about Zhang Yu the math professor who teaches postgraduate entrance exam math. His lectures are absolutely brilliant. I still vividly remember watching his pirated lecture videos in the library while working through his 1,000 Problems in Advanced Math. I remember him telling us that in grad school we need to fight our way up. I remember his eyes getting misty when he talked about The Lion King…
Having watched so many of his pirated videos, my math score on the entrance exam wasn’t too bad — at least I didn’t let him down. But watching pirated content is still wrong. I remember him telling us:
About piracy: First, I sincerely hope you’ll support the genuine version. Second, if you’ve used pirated copies, then you owe me for the original. You need to pay it back — not to me, not right now. When you’ve grown up, go help those who need help, give back to society. Promise me.
Professor Zhang, you’re a great teacher. I promise — the debt I owe you, I will pay it back.
